Roses and Thorns

  • Community Moderator

    Would love to add this to @Daffy_Dave's being grateful thread but finding a lot of things lately feel like a roses and thorns situation. The rose is that last year I moved into a place with a big bedroom window. The thorn is I have to keep my bedroom at vampire settings, so most of the time the curtains are drawn. But yesterday there was an exception to the usual. It was a dull enough day combined with feeling a little less light sensitive that meant I could keep the curtains open for a while and watch some beautiful clouds drift past.
    So I wanted to start a thread in case anyone else wants to share their usual and exceptions or roses and thorns situations. Can be expressed in words, photos or emoji's.
    The Usual


    The Exception

    Solidarity if you are experiencing the usual, I know its not easy, but hoping you have a moment of exception in the near future.

  • @gretch Very familiar scenario .... and very frustrating when you know something great is at reach but so very far... very sad that too often, we are denied even the simplest of pleasures. Hope you get at least one day to open the curtain and let the sun through. 🌞

  • Community Moderator

    Thanks @crashdummy, haven't been in the place over winter so hoping that is the case.

  • My roses and thorns just might be Miso the cat. She is a soft sweet companion that brings me pleasure, but she is also such a hassle. She thinks she should be outside playing in the night, I make her stay inside at night: constant arguments. She ALWAYS jumps onto my knee just when I ought to get up. She demands meat off my plate, and then doesn't necessarily eat it. She thinks I am her butler. I have nightmares about vet bills. But there she is, saying her dear good morning to me, each new day.

  • Community Moderator

    @Dot I know exactly what you mean. My two bundles of fur are equal parts adorable and rascal during the day and revert to feral at night. 😺😻🙀So grateful for the companionship and luckily for me one of them tolerates it when I’m in a particularly “needy” mood but on the not so good days just making sure their basic needs are met comes at a price to your own. Also if I haven’t said it somewhere on here before I love the name Miso.

  • @gretch While we are on the cat topic. My beautiful British shorthair Hannah gives me companionship and makes me laugh, but unfortunately she has also made my health decline. About 3 years ago we endured a major flea plague in the house (thanks to my son’s 2 dogs) and our cat became the new host. She is an indoor only cat so she wasn’t flea’d. It meant 3 months of daily vacuuming, washing, etc. Totally exhausted me. Then 2 years ago she was diagnosed with mega colon and had major bowel surgery. We almost lost her and I endured daily trips to the vet plus having to syringe feed her etc. And lots of stress. Thankfully she is still with us but without going into detail, I have constant daily clean ups +++ from both ends. 😳.

  • Community Moderator

    @Glimmer That’s a lot of thorns you had to endure to care for and save your British rose. Also raises an important point, that might be a topic on its own, about how often pacing isn’t a viable option.
    This is my first time having inside only cats, so after seeing your story I will try to complain a little less about having to clean up from one end. It could be worse. 😊

  • @Glimmer Oh no, what a dreadful run with the beautiful Hannah. That is so much what I am afraid of. Just like @gretch I thought 'that is a lot of thorns around your rose!'
    I worry that I will not be well enough to care for Miso when she gets very old, and I feel sick thinking of that decision.
    Miso started off as my daughter's cat and she is one of those toroiseshells that is nearly all black with bits of gold. Hence 'Miso'.
    I make a lot of miso soup so I need to specify which I am talking about! 😄
    Miso Feb 2020 (2).jpg

  • @Dot Lovely to meet you Miso. Lovely girl. Hannah is now ten and she may not live a long life which is something I don’t want to think about.
    This is Hannah keeping me company on my bed.0A1F6755-0449-4B7B-B39F-E160CBB376DB.jpeg

  • @Glimmer Ooh isn't she scrumptious and that lovely thick fur. She absolutely does not think there are any thorns around her at all!

  • Todays' rose was the sun. I was outside for an hour, just sitting and slow movements; managed to check on a few plants and then I felt the dreaded feeling of needing to get back inside. My body ached all over and my spine felt like it was going to crack. The pain running down my spine, behind the bones, made me feel nauseous and completely negated the pleasure of being out. It feels like I'm hunched backed yet all is visually fine. It is hard to explain this symptom ... definitely a thorn. 🥀

  • @crashdummy l hope that symptom has passed, it sounds terrible

  • Hi @iris It is slowly easing .... Overdoing things can even mean just doing the slightest thing ... so frustrating but it happens a lot and does pass with stillness and rest. It certainly took the fun out of the day but I'm propped in a recliner, the fires going and the tv is on ... thanks for your kind reply ... 🌷

  • @crashdummy I can relate to that “ dreaded feeling of needing to be back inside”. It always seems to come on suddenly and my symptoms are always in my head - literally. Feels like a huge pressure feeling and feeling weird. The rose is being able to identify that feeling and acting on it.

  • @Glimmer Yep... you're not alone on this... that sudden weird pressure feeling like your head is going to explode .... the rose is treating yourself kindly, almost nursing yourself back to a more stable and comfortable level.

  • Community Moderator

    Hope the pain continued to ease @crashdummy. Really appreciate the reminder from you and @Glimmer that knowing what to do to gradually get yourself to the other side of the spike is a rose. So many of us spent the early years either without that knowledge or not understanding how crucial it is to be kind to yourself.

  • @crashdummy So awful. Especially because you were being slow and careful. Nasty thorn. You'd think an hour wasn't too much. I do hope today is rosier.

    My rose and thorns I am dealing with this morning: I worked out it was dust mite allergy making me cough and choke last year (mucous running down the back of my throat) BIG ROSE! I knew what it was and could make things improve.
    Thorns: eep I need to change bedding more often than I get homehelp. Just pillowslips and sheets today (mattress and pillow protectors next time) but I DONT NEED MORE HOUSEWORK.

  • Thanks @gretch. The pain has nearly gone, without using painkillers and I 'm confident that I did all I could to alleviate it. I will follow it up with my GP when I visit next, to add the episode to the files. I think it's important to get checked after any bad onslaught, allowing the doctor to assess whether it is ME causing it and not some other problem. 🌹

  • @Dot Hey I just changed my sheets (just as well it’s a single bed) and now I’m totally wiped out. The shower may have to wait for an hour or two, or three…..

  • @crashdummy Yes that’s a problem in its self. Sometimes I’ll have strange new feelings, like a different type of pain somewhere new, and then there’s the concern as to whether it’s CFS or something else. 🤔

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